10 Unexpected Lessons I’ve Learned From Trauma
If you’ve known me for some time, you might know that I have had a very difficult life: As a child, I experienced a lot of abuse and was suicidal by the age of 14. I started therapy around the same time and got diagnosed with PTSD, depression and an anxiety disorder.
For those of you who are or have been in therapy- you might notice that it doesn’t always help you in the way you need it!
The same was true for me: After many years of treatment, my mental health hadn’t improved and so I spent my early adult years trying to figure out how to heal myself.
Today, I am sharing with you some surprising lessons I learned from healing from trauma, in the hopes that it’ll help you break free just like so many of my clients and I did:
10 Unexpected Lessons I’ve Learned From Trauma
1. The Trauma “Sits” in Your Body
Did you know that the trauma you’ve experienced is stored in the tissues of your body?
This is why you might be feeling lethargic, have a hard time sleeping or have body aches and pains that never really go away. (It’s also the reason why talk therapy, willpower and hypnosis don’t really work for you!)
When you find the right healing tools for you (I recommend Energy Healings + Family Constellation Therapy), you’ll feel the heaviness release from your body and feel a sense of relief you’ve never felt before. Your body will then open up and relax very naturally, as you feel the physical tension leave.
2. You Are Not Crazy
The seemingly irrational quirks and reactions you have are completely reasonable based on the trauma you experienced! No - you aren’t crazy. Andyou also aren’t broken beyond repair.
There is nothing to be ashamed of, your body is simply trying to keep you alive the best way it knows how. If any other person had suffered your fate, they would have similar reactions today!
I also want to acknowledge that it can feel very isolating when you seem so different from the people around you. I totally get that. But don’t let this make you think that there is anything wrong with you.
3. Yes, This Can Be Healed
This is the question I get the most: “Can this be healed?” Sometimes we see other people make great strides and aren’t sure our situation can be resolved too!
After having worked with more than thousand people across the world who all have had completely different life experiences, I can tell you: Yes, you can be healed.
I have yet to encounter a person who was too broken or where the healings we did didn’t work. This is very good news!
It’s really just about finding the right tools for you and then using them until you feel significantly better.
4. You Need to Focus on Healing Your Family System
This is an important one: 80-90% of your issues come from your family system and childhood. And a lot of your mental illness was actually passed down to you from your ancestors.
In light of this - it doesn’t make any sense to try to heal you without taking your family system into account. It simply doesn’t work!
So the #1 thing I recommend people focus on is to heal their family system, which can be done using Family Constellation Therapy. Want to learn more about how it can help you?
5. Give Yourself Time to “Digest”
When I first discovered how the heal myself, I was on a roll: I did Energy Healings every single day and Family Constellation Therapy several times per week.
… and it was too much.
The trauma and blockages that were in my body needed time to release! I found myself yawning a lot (which is the nervous system resetting itself), my hands and feet were tingly (it’s the tension releasing) and I overall felt very tired and hungry.
Which is a great sign that some big things are shifting!
It’s important not to rush the healing and to let your body catch up at its own time. It’s ok to take a couple of months to a couple of years to fully work through this.
Take it slow. Rest as much as you need to.
6. A Daily Energy Healing Practice Really Helps
I swear by this Energy Healing routine - my clients and I do it every day! It’s like taking an inner shower that clears away any “heaviness” in your body and leaves you feeling lighter and brighter the more you do it.
Click here if you want to try it! I am always amazed at how good I feel when I do my Energy Healings.
7. You Get to Create a Life That Fits You
At some point I noticed that I can’t do the 9-5. I also don’t want to go to loud parties with strobe lights that trigger my PTSD. I like my very quiet and private life.
So I became clear on what was right for me and built my life around that!
I now run a beautiful and highly profitable business from my cozy London home overlooking the city. I am surrounded by people who love me and most of all: I get to have as much quiet and calm as I like :)
The same is available for you.
Have the courage to be honest about what makes you feel good and create a life that fits YOU, as opposed to you trying to fit into it. It’ll make all the difference.
8. Don’t Let Anyone (Not Even Yourself) Downplay What You Truly Need
Oooh this is a big one: From the person who tells you to “not be so sensitive”, to you expecting yourself to work 24/7, to your friends wanting you to go on vacation even though you’d rather rest.. Where in your life are you or others downplaying what you truly need?
I usually don’t share much about my previous mental health struggles, because I am a very private person.
But I also learned that I need to stand up for myself and design my life in a way that it works FOR me, not against me. And I also need to educate the people around me on how to support me in this!
(Most of all, I need to remind myself and others that my trauma was real and that I can’t “just get over myself”).
9. This “Life” Thing Can Be Learned
Ideally, your parents would have protected you and gently encouraged you to explore the world, so you can figure out this “life” thing on your own. From there, you would have grown up under their guidance and learned some valuable tools on money, relationships, health etc.
The problem is that most people’s childhood isn’t as perfect. We miss some lessons. Our parents can’t teach us everything.
And as adults, we realize that we have some serious knowledge gaps when it comes to everyday life!
The good news is that all of this can be learned: Success is a skillset that can be learned. Money is a skillset that can be learned. You can even learn how to have a happy, healthy relationship!
You really just need to find someone who can teach you all those things.
10. You Deserve to Have Support and Be Surrounded by People Who Get You
Yes, yes, yes! Dealing with what you are dealing with is hard enough as it is. You’re only making things harder by trying to heal yourself all on your own.
Having people who can lift you into your next level and who love you unconditionally is truly invaluable. I simply wouldn’t be here without my coaches, healers and mentors. Reaching out for help set me on the path to creating the life I have today.
When trauma is properly “digested”, you will feel the depth, strength and wisdom it can bring you! This is why people who’ve experienced trauma, tend to achieve more in life and also tend to have a deeper life experience.
My intention for you is that you can move forward feeling lighter and brighter again - and finally live your life. I am here if you’d like some help with that.